Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012. Hello 2013.


Brand new year, brand new beginning. 

100% No doubt, this year is a really hectic and shitty year. 
 Looking back, I haven't really made many friends. I'm not sure why I can't make friends, but it bothers me a lot. But right now, I start to realize that the number of friends I have don't matter at all. All I have to know is that at least I have friends that'll be there for me when I fall. 
Even though I don't have many friends, it's okay. I used to struggle a lot, felt insecure at many things and having low self confidence. But there were friends who were willing to be there for me. It was a total breakthrough this year, but I guess I somehow learned how to handle it.
Sometimes, I seriously feel stressed out when I told my friends, "Ya know, I really don't have many friends.", and my friends will just tell me to quit joking. I mean even if I was lying, what benefit will it bring me? I don't get why "I" look like I have many friends, even though I don't

I lost friends that were really important to me. Maybe it was like nothing for that person, but it means a lot to me. I just don't understand why people(or perhaps friends) always don't get the facts right before taking sides. It happened to me once. My friend was listening to the other party's story, but she didn't listen to mine. So eventually, and obviously, my friend will leave my side. I was confronted. To be honest, I was really feeling rather nervous about it since it was my first time. And I ended crying. But it was not because I was afraid, it was because the person who I believed was my friend, did not help me. I took such a huge courage talking to her but she didn't even bother looking at me. I'm not trying to gain any sympathy and this paragraph actually meant nothing. I just want to throw out all the bad memories since today is the last day of 2012 and I want to start my new year clean and fresh. 

Many things happened, and I was misunderstood by many things. Most of the time when all I wanted was to dissolve the misunderstanding, it'll make me look like I'm a bad person. When my intentions was good, they mistook it as bad. So right now, I don't really bother to do anything if I were to be misunderstood b'cos it'll turn out bad anyway. Most likely I think it has to do with my personality. I find it hard to express myself with actions, especially with words. I am overly-shy and it irritates the hell outta me.

I have many problems, but I enjoyed overcoming it though. I learned many things through this experiences and no doubt, I became stronger. I felt like I was standing at the peak of the mountain way to many times and I was tempted to just jump down. But right now, the current me, will slowly walk down the mountain and make my way. Its true that there were many tough obstacles for me to go  through. But without that, I won't be the "me" today.

I was broken into pieces, I was burning in flames and I was crying. It hurts having to experience this emotions but who cares? I've had enough. Ever heard of "You lose something, but you'll gain something in return." I believe in this. I'm so not gonna brood over things I've lost. Their faces occasionally appear out of a blue in my head, but I'll get over it. I'll just turn them into beautiful memories or perhaps treat it as a dream? 

This post is actually just to clear off my head and giving a special thanks to my friends. I love you all. Even though I can't express this love clearly, I just want you guys to know I really love you.

 This is going to be my last picture for this year.
(p.s. Took this picture right after I woke up)
  
 I've learned to let go off things, even though I don't want to. You lose things, but isn't that part of living? 

Goodbye 2012. You made me laugh, you made me cry. But it is time to move on.
This post probably bore you out, but it was my heartfelt words. I wish you guys a happy 2013!
Till next year! muacks 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

23/12/12

It was the day before Christmas Eve. I had to clear up the living room, mop the floor and do the laundry and make sure it was spic and span before the party. Had to prepare fried rice and phew! Thank god they say it tasted not bad! My sister's friend came over to our house for a early Christmas party. I wasn't celebrating it with them but I did join in the gift exchange! I got a package of Body Shop's body lotion package and a box of maltesers! HEHE I'M SO HAPPIE

Hi :-*


    YAY I got my present!                   EH Y U NO COME OUT                  Hehe it finally got out


CHRISTMAS EVE

Had to rush to Somerset 313 to get my Christmas presents. And yes, I went alone. Everyone was like giving me the "hahaha she's a loner" look. COME ON U NEVER SEE A GIRL BUYING THINGS ALONE BEFORE MEH? I know I have. Everywhere I go, there will definitely be offers! It was so tempting but I was out of cash.... Got my things in hand and had to train all the way to Choa Chu Kang to meet my sister's friend and pass her something. I look so kuku lol having to hold so many things. It was damn heavy! Passed her her stuffs and she gave me chocolates as a Christmas present! :3
And I have to train back to Yew Tee zzzz. Went to buy wrapping paper and I'm done! My hand was seriously filled with paper and plastic bags. Look so kuku but I also looked rich HAHAHA ok no joke man it was seriously heavy. 
Have to walk to my aunt's house UGH. Today was so rushing. Rush here, rush there, totally no rest! Reached her house, and I have to immediately get my fruits that I brought from home and dice it. Basically, I have to prepare fruit salad for the party!
All my relatives had arrived and woolala the whole table was filled with food! Turkey, ham, spaghetti, mashed potato, chicken wings, veges, sausages, kebab. SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN.
    

 idk why my face look so...horrible

Youngsters area



OOTD
Ate so much that my stomach is already bursting^^^^
The party was so fun! Everyone was all smiley and enjoying every single thing there. Oh and the gift exchange was so hilarious! We are supposed to prepare unisex items but my guy cousins received some girly things HAHAHA. Anyway, I really had fun and I wished there will be like more of such parties.


CHRISTMAS DAY

As all of you know, it's Christmas Day!!! I think all of you should be having fun exchanging presents and enjoying turkey/ham at home. After like 7-8 years, I'm finally celebrating Christmas! Just fyi, I'm a Buddhist. So mummy don't really celebrate Christmas at home.
Met up with Winnie to go for shopping at Bugis! It's crazy right? I mean who will go shopping on a Christmas Day???? I deliberately went shopping on that day because I know there will be many offers. HAHAHAHA OMG I AM SO OBASAN! I bought a skater skirt, a denim outerwear and a flower beads top. It only cost me $45! If there were no offers, I think it'll cost around......$65 and above? Being an obasan is totally worth it! We hang out just for awhile because both of us had to rush back to have our dinner.

 Camwhored and the train kept shaking so
that's why the picture was kinda blurry!

HAHA SAY HI TO THE RETARDS
  
Bought Sushi for mummy to celebrate Christmas. She was drinking and she even gave me a few mouthfuls of alcohol. I was starting to get a little tipsy but she SO HIGH. She kept singing and shouting lol luckily no one throw eggs down to our house. We were goddamn tired(I think we were drunk??) and slept like a log. Hahaha that's how I ended my Christmas night.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas!
Bye loves :-*
 
 

Saturday, December 22, 2012

random post


This is just going to be one random topic I'm posting. I was just scrolling down the news feed on my facebook and I saw things like: " Why is she pretty and I'm not?", "I wish my fats can just disappear." "Why doesn't he love me? What does she have that I don't? I want to be her.....". I was thinking to myself like what the.......... 
For the losing of weight, why not just throw yourself into a big pool and swim to burn your fats instead of wishing for the impossible. As if your fats will just disappear on its own. And it is not necessary for you to act like someone you're not, just to get the person you like. Just be yourself. Even if the other partner end up liking you just because you've "changed", don't you feel weird? Its like he didn't really like the real you but your so called fake self. I mean that is just wrong. Just be yourself. People may or may not like you, but it's important that you stay true to who you are. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. 
I actually acted like the person I wanted to be. Eventually, people really did like me. But I was tired of acting. The person I wanted to be was being sociable, all smiley and stuffs. The actual me was kinda boring, not very sociable and I always give poker face. Somehow, people can get the hint that I'm actually not being "me". And people started to drift away from me. So I was like all-cool because I know sooner or later it'll have this kind of outcome.

LOVELIFE
  
I TOTALLY gave up on love. It is totally N-O for me. *cross out*
I have enough of all this liking and stuff. It is just so tiring! I kinda know what the outcome will be like anyways. Since I have many flaws. Even if you fall for me, you are falling with my insecurities, immaturity, my constant need to feel loved, my tendency to feel clingy and getting jealous over small things. Its like you are falling in love with my eyes and smile when I'm with you and I'll text you goodmorning honey muacks. But despite my thinking, I know that is just impossible. I know when people are in a relationship, they'll give in and accept each other's flaws. But mine is just too much for someone to handle. I like to hallucinate. Think about things that are not even true(never even happen) and making myself depressed. I don't even know what for?! Just two words for my love life. Gave up.

APPEARANCE AND IMPERFECTIONS

Obviously everyone cares about their appearance. Even I do. Its totally normal! But worrying of their appearances comes with different categories. Some is classified at the total bottom where they feel extremely depressed with their looks. I know people will judge you the way you look. I get judged by people too. It hurts, but I don't let it affect me.  Welcome to this society where you will be judges on what you wear, what you look like, how you act, who you hang around with, and you'll be made fun of for being your true self. It is happening so so SO often that everyone started to think that this is so normal. It hurts, but live with it man. You can't expect the world to stop turning just because you're hurt by this kind of things right. I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect in my imperfection. Therefore, I'm perfectly imperfect. This is so stupid but I say that to make myself feel better hehe.

People keep judging how someone looks like. They're like dying to find a single bad trait of you and brag it in front of others. It doesn't matter how you look, what your weight is or how much make-up you put on. People will love you for what's on the inside. If your crush happen to fall in love with you because of that then I mean that is like fan-ta-bu-lous hahaha.

They tend to starve themselves so that they'll be slim???? COME ON MAN. JUST BLOODY HELL GO AND EXERCISE INSTEAD OF STARVING YOUSELF. Its not like anyone is trying to stop you becoming slim. But at least do it the right way!!!
This cycle always happens on me.
Main Point: Just eat!!!!!
"You eat, you're fat. You don't eat, you're a freak.
You drink, you're an alcoholic. You don't drink, you're a pussy.
You read, you're a nerd. You don't read, you're stupid.
You tell a secret, you're an attention seeker. You don't tell a secret, you're still attention seeking.
You let someone in, you're easy. You don't let someone in, you're uptight.
You smoke, you're cool. You don't smoke, you're a loser.
You've had sex, you're a slut. You haven't had sex, you're a frigid little bitch.
You wear make-up, you're a slag. You don't wear make-up, you're ugly.
You can't please anyone. Ever." 

Many people just feel so unsatisfied with themselves. but HEY YOU! Stop being unhappy with yourself and start appreciate it instead. Stop wishing that you looked like someone else, stop hating your body, your face, your everything. You should be happy for who you are because that make you "you". If anyone hates you for being you, just stick your middle finger in the air and say fuck you. YOLO.
 

If you want someone perfect, get yourself a barbie doll.

So this is for the person who is reading this. You are beautiful! Go look in the mirror. Have a good look. Past the insecurities and ignore what people think of you. You are beautiful. If you're a guy, then you're handsome haha.

That's all for today. My post is kinda messy and you may not understand what I'm trying to say because I just type down anything that comes to my mind. My main point is actually just BE YOURSELF and if someone is saying bad thing about you, just scream out IDGAF . HAHAHAHA so that's about everything. Hope you guys enjoyed this post and you'll see my posting in another (???????) days. Muacks bye